Attachment Styles and Sexual Intimacy
I’m not sure if it’s fate or coincidence that I chose to write this blog over Valentine’s weekend, but here goes. The reader is urged to consult the previous blog (January, 2015) for information about attachment styles. Attachment research broadly divides into “secure” attachment and “insecure attachment,” with insecure attachment further divided into “anxious” and “avoidant” styles. Sue Johnson, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, distinguished research professor, and developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT). Her latest book, Love Sense; The Revolutionary...
Read MoreDan Siegel (Part 3): Attachment Styles & Parenting Approaches
In this third and final blog from The Developing Mind; How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are (1999; 2012), author and renowned psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel, MD, uses attachment research to discuss not only attachment styles, but the parenting approaches they influence and are influenced by. Siegel writes: “Children challenge parents continually. How parents respond will set the tone of their interactions and will shape the development of their children’s capacity to regulate their states of mind and shifts in emotions. Take, for example, a...
Read MoreDan Siegel (Part 2): Memory Reorganization & Consolidation (“The Malleability of Memory”)
I begin Part 2 with the same introduction I began Part 1: In working with clients, I probably utilize, refer to, and even quote the research of Dan Siegel more than any other source; especially his book The Developing Mind; How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are, 2nd ed (2012); what one reviewer has called “a tour de force.” The bio on the back book cover reads: “Daniel J. Siegel, MD, is an internationally acclaimed author, award-winning educator, and renowned child psychiatrist. He is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the School of Medicine of the University of...
Read MoreDan Siegel (Part 1): Emotional Sensitivity & Cognitive Override
In working with clients, I probably utilize, refer to, and even quote the research of Dan Siegel more than any other source; especially his book The Developing Mind; How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are, 2nd ed (2012); what one reviewer has called “a tour de force.” The bio on the back book cover reads: “Daniel J. Siegel, MD, is an internationally acclaimed author, award-winning educator, and renowned child psychiatrist. He is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the School of Medicine of the University of California, Los Angeles, where he serves...
Read MoreRethinking Couple Therapy
I do a lot of couple counseling. THE BOOK I try and get into the hands of embattled couples is The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) by John Gottman, PhD. Dr. Gottman is Emeritus Professor of Psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle, and along with his wife Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, is the founder and director of the Gottman Institute and the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle. He is simply one of, if not, “the” foremost relationship experts in the world. Best-selling author Malcolm Gladwell provides a good introduction to Gottman in the...
Read MoreDark Nights of the Soul
Several months ago, a therapist-friend gave me the book Dark Nights of the Soul; A Guide to Finding Your Way Through Life’s Ordeals (2004) by psychologist Thomas Moore, PhD. Moore has also authored the bestsellers Care of the Soul (1992) and SoulMates (1994) as well as many other books. Moore was a Catholic monk for twelve years and later became a psychologist. The back cover of Dark Nights (2004) reads: “Our lives are filled with emotional tunnels: the loss of a loved one or the end of a relationship, aging and illness, career disappointments, or just an ongoing sense of...
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